In an emotional first-person essay for The Players' Tribune, the former Los Angeles Lakers star delved into his battle with drug addiction, which hit rock bottom on October 13, 2015, the day he was rushed to the hospital after being found unconscious in a Nevada brothel.
"One of the darkest places I've ever been was when I was in a motel room, getting high with this chick, and my wife (at the time) walked in".
Odom talked about what it was like and what he was thinking while in that hospital bed after waking up from a coma that he was in for four days.
"My d**k and my habit took me down all the roads that you don't ever wanna go down."
"I didn't try it until I was 24 years old, when I was on summer vacation in Miami", Odom said of the first time he tried cocaine.
Odom, now 37, was a two-time National Basketball Association champion with the Los Angeles Lakers before finding himself under scrutiny for his moves off the court, beginning in 2009 with his candy obsession, his marriage to Khloe Kardashian and a 2013 DUI.More news: Judiciary committee to pull Manafort subpoena
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Odom explained that during that period of his life, he was "doing coke every day. I couldn't control it", Odom wrote.
Nearly two years after his near-fatal overdose, Lamar Odom has offered a detailed account of the drug-fueled life of addiction and pain in a gut-wrenching introspective for The Players' Tribune. They reunited after the incident, but split again past year. Nothing else I got for that. "But I know that I can't if I want to be here for my children", he writes. "Nah, I wasn't blind to it. Shame ... pain". I definitely never touched cocaine. As a result, Kardashian - who was making all of Odom's medical decisions - ultimately opted to call off their protracted divorce proceedings. "I didn't want to control it".
Throughout his essay, Odom touched on how his drug addiction tore apart his marriage over the years. He described his infidelities as "rock bottom" and described himself as a "scumbag".
Lamar was famously married to Rob's sister Khloé and even spoke candidly about the demise of their relationship, recently, admitting that she would oftentimes see him abusing drugs. I didn't think about death.
After his hospitalization, Odom went to rehab, drawing on the strength of his children to push him forward.
"Even though my funeral would probably be a good funeral, and there'd probably be a lot of people who hadn't seen each other in a long time. I'm still here. And damn, I'm still pretty handsome", he writes.